Do leaders in your organization recognize negative attention so they can transform it into something positive, or do they get bogged down in a power struggle filled with miscommunication?
When children misbehave, we often say they are seeking 'negative attention'. It's incredible how much energy and effort children put into getting attention. Often, this negative behavior backfires, resulting in punishment or other negative consequences. This also applies to adults, though their behavior is often more refined and has greater implications.
Parents, much like good leaders, naturally learn how to transform negative energy into positive motivation, creating a win-win situation for everyone.
Imagine you ask the leaders in your organization; how would they answer these questions?
Have you ever:
have you ever wondered why adults sometimes behave like spoiled children?
Have you noticed how much energy is wasted on drama?
Wished people would focus on their work instead of sabotaging each other?
Seen how miscommunication can erode trust and morale?
have you ever wondered why people seem to behave in ways that only harm themselves?
seeing yourself exhibit destructive behavior, even though you know it's not helpful?
How does negative attention manifest in your workplace? How much time do you spend putting out fires, fighting the same battles repeatedly, and creating policies to control the behavior of just a few people? And how do you attract negative attention?
Changing our leadership mindset about negative behavior can truly make a difference. This is the seventh of eight mindset shifts that can transform the impact of leaders.
Leadership Mindset Shift #7 – Behind most negative behavior lies a positive need
By recognizing unfulfilled positive needs, much negative energy and miscommunication can be avoided. In return, you gain more engaged and motivated employees.
The positive aspects of negative attention
The Process Communication Model® (PCM) reveals a powerful, predictable, and visible relationship between negative and positive attention.
In Mindset Shift #6, we explored the six types of motivators for human behavior, each linked to a personality type. Meeting our psychological needs is a survival instinct for people, just like breathing. And – surprisingly – if people don't get their needs met positively, they will try to fulfill those same needs negatively, whether consciously or unconsciously. We call this distress, and it leads to predictable miscommunication.
When we see negative behavior, it's usually a sign that the person is trying to meet their needs, but in an unhelpful way.
Below you will find the six predictable and observable behavioral clusters, known as failure mechanisms, which emerge when someone cannot meet their needs in a positive way. For more insight into how to meet your needs positively instead of negatively, refer to Mindset Shift #6 on motivational needs.
Overcontrolling
Overcontrol manifests as micromanaging, overworking, and criticizing the work of others. Individuals exhibiting this trait are excessively concerned with fairness, money, and minor details. You can recognize it through remarks like “You're wasting my time” or “What an idiot!” – these are typical comments from people who don't receive positive recognition for their productive work and time structure.
Making mistakes
Making mistakes involves losing self-confidence, unintentionally messing things up in a way that invites criticism from others, and being overly self-critical. Comments like “I'm sure I messed it up” or “Why am I such an idiot?” are common among people who don't receive positive recognition for who they are and their perceptions.
Imposing Beliefs
This involves becoming stubborn, self-righteous, and judgmental, going on a crusade, turning every issue into an all-or-nothing situation, and becoming distrustful of those who don't share their beliefs. Remarks such as “They clearly aren't committed” or “Are you on my side or not?” are often heard from people who don't receive positive recognition for their dedicated work and convictions.
Blaming
Making excuses, blaming others, acting completely innocent, avoiding all responsibility, whining, and complaining – these are all typical behaviors of an accuser. Comments such as “It’s not my fault” or “She made me do it” are often heard from people who struggle to make positive connections.
Manipulation
Manipulation involves creating negative drama, pitting people against each other, exploiting them for personal gain, or cornering them so they can only lose. Remarks such as: “John criticized your work to the team, but you didn't hear that from me” or “Only losers stay silent during meetings. Tell John to mind his own business” are common comments from people who are not receiving positive challenges.
Passive waiting
Withdrawing, isolating oneself, avoiding interaction, struggling to get things done, starting projects but not completing them, and shutting down. This is a passive stance. Remarks such as “It's all too much” or “I don't know what to do” are often heard from individuals who feel they don't have enough time and space to be alone.
Leaders who understand the connection between positive and negative attention can intervene more effectively in a way that actually improves the situation rather than worsening it.
Is it really that simple?
You probably have many questions now. Such as:
Will simply addressing the positive need stop the negative behavior?
If I respond to positive needs, does that not reward negative behavior?
How can I be proactive so that I don't have to deal with negative attention at all?
Shouldn't we still address the behavior?
How does this affect our guidance and performance discussions?
These are absolutely the right questions. And the answers might just surprise you.
Change your mindset, become a better leader
Understanding the connection between positive motivation and negative distress is the focus of this module in the PCM Leadership Program.
In this module, leaders learn:
to recognize and change their own distress behavior;
to avoid power struggles related to negative behavior;
to reduce costly miscommunication;
to reduce negative conflicts in a positive way;
to improve reward and performance management processes.
Do you want to start strengthening your leadership? Contact us.
