I recently learned a great word: mood management. Today, I practiced it myself, using the knowledge from the Process Communication Model (PCM). In this blog, I'll take you along.
You can dislike or love a storm. But do you love being in a bad mood? If your mood barometer is set to 'storm,' you're not the best version of yourself. While there's not much you can do about falling air pressure, you can certainly take responsibility for a declining mood. I call that mood management, which I think is a great term. It naturally starts with being aware of your mood: is it stable, changeable, or stormy?
I definitely often practice my own mood management. In “storm mode,” I don’t like myself, I’m not nice, my communication becomes terrible, and I get very little done. Whereas in “stable” mode, I feel comfortable in my own skin, have enough energy, everything seems to go better and easier, and I also enjoy the things I do more.
PCM – A Practical Tool
I have a wonderful practical tool for this in my hands: the Process Communication Model (PCM). It has taught me to recognize the warning signs that my battery is running low. And that is not conducive to my mood.
PCM provides insight into behavior, communication preferences, and psychological needs. This applies to yourself as well as the people around you. Every person is a combination of 6 different personality types. The order and intensity vary from person to person. Each type has its strengths, but also predictable and observable behavior under stress. Each type has specific needs that help recharge your internal battery, guide you out of the storm of distress, or prevent the barometer from dropping further.
If you recognize the alarm signals in yourself, you can actively address them. Similarly, if you recognize them in others, you can respond actively and specifically in a way that suits them.
Back to my mood
I'll give you an example from some time ago.
I had made a list of a number of things I wanted to do that day. Very little of it had actually come to fruition. Instead, I had done *other* things that I felt also needed to be done. I had actually been busy, but it hadn't gone smoothly and had all taken longer than I wanted. Grrrr.
Slowly, tension began to build in my body. My thoughts became less clear, and if I were with others, they would probably perceive me as grumpy. What I was working on started to take much more time than usual. The barometer was falling! And meanwhile, chores were still waiting, and I forgot to be satisfied with what I had already accomplished.
It was beautiful weather outside, but I felt I first had to do a few things that were on my list. For instance, I wanted to vacuum and mop the floor. Grumpily, I started vacuuming. I angrily pushed aside chairs that were in the way. Then I recognized my pitfall: first finishing the things I want to do, because UNTIL I finish that list, I 'am not allowed' to go outside (even though I really want to and the weather is so nice and it's also very much needed). Without PCM, I would never have learned to recognize this pattern: the unconscious belief that I can only have fun once the work is done.
It was time to reflect on what was happening and especially to start paying attention to myself, my energy levels, and thus my mood. From a PCM perspective, I know what my most important mental energy sources are. These are listed in your personality profile, which also contains an action plan to help you with this. So:
Time for the action plan
My “powerchargers” are recognition for me as a person and sensory stimulation, as well as recognition for work and time schedules. And after that, I consciously do the following things.
So, I had already done a few tasks that weren't on my to-do list. I decided to add them to that list anyway and then immediately cross them off. That way, I give myself recognition for my work. “Well done!” I say to myself and already feel a little more satisfied. The battery is recharged a bit.
I went pottering around in the garden for a bit, nice and outdoors, good for the senses and my brain, which can let the wind blow wherever it pleases for a while. That helps a little, but I notice that it's not enough and that mopping continues to hang over me like a thundercloud. I tell myself that I am OK, even if I don't mop today. With that, I can leave my list for what it is.
I quickly connect with my love, tell him I love him, and the virtual kisses are wonderful. Afterwards, I leisurely walk to the city center to treat myself to a cappuccino. On the way, I greet everyone I meet and, wonderfully, everyone returns a friendly greeting. Meanwhile, I enjoy the sun, the flowers, and the birdsong. Slowly, I feel the tension leaving my body, and I can think clearly again. I no longer feel grumpy.
Mood Management with PCM. How cool is that?
8 needs for a better mood
In no particular order, these are the 8 needs. Which ones do you recognize in yourself?
- Recognition for work – hearing from others or yourself that you have delivered good work. For this, I crossed off tasks on my list and even added tasks I had already completed, just to be able to cross them off.
- Time structure – for instance, planning your day and week. I used a list for that.
- Recognition for conviction – your opinion being respected by others and receiving recognition for your dedication and commitment to a mission. For me, this wasn't very important, which is why I didn't consciously focus on it that day.
- Recognition for person – hearing and feeling that you matter as a person. I told myself I was okay and took care of myself. And I connected with my loved one.
- Sensory stimulation – literally tasting, feeling, smelling, seeing: I went outside, enjoyed the flowers, and treated myself to a delicious cappuccino.
- Being alone – having time and space for yourself, without any obligations. Time to reflect. I took this time in the garden.
- Connection (playful) – variety, humor, and people are key here. I started chatting along the way.
- Challenge – feeling enough adrenaline, action, and excitement in a short time. Also important, but not for me today.
There are many ways to fulfill these needs. What do you do to recharge your battery and maintain a stable mood?
