This is how you communicate with people who manipulate and create negative drama
Stress affects everyone differently. It turns some people into major drama queens. They manipulate, turn the tables, and create negative drama. It is as if they constantly want to draw the spotlight on themselves, while taking others along for the ride. Moreover , through smoke screens and diversionary tactics, they manage to avoid getting caught. They develop a narcissistic attitude and act as if they are above the law. How do you communicate with someone like that?
A practical example: Henk
The incoming director of a company, let's call him Henk, wants to improve communication and motivation within the company . Ownership and pleasant, effective collaboration are the goal. As the improvement process progresses , a number of MT colleagues also feel the need for better communication . with Henk . His direct approach leads to uncertainty, irritation, and frustration. Henk does not find this necessary at all and knows perfectly well where the changes need to take place : not with him. He makes this clear with statements such as : ' They shouldn't whine, it's their turn now.' He expects self-reliance and is annoyed by doubt, uncertainty , and a lack of initiative. Due to his behavior, employees lack involvement , understanding , guidance, and clarity. They feel incompetent, unheard, and have no confidence in Henk .
Analyzing Manipulative Behavior
Manipulatory people need excitement and tension . If they do not get this in a positive way , they try it. with negative drama. It is exciting and leaves a trail of destruction. Manipulative people are often charismatic and can be great leaders, but they are afraid of transparency and intimacy . Through manipulation, they keep others at a distance. However, due to their dominant attitude , they also sacrifice their leadership capabilities. Eventually, even their most loyal fans abandon them because they are tired of being taken advantage of .
Tips for communicating with a manipulative person
Gather all your courage. These individuals respond best to very clear boundaries and direct communication. They can handle it.
Avoid emotional appeals and extra details. Get straight to the point and tell them what you want them to do. For example: 'Give me my tasks for today.'
Create positive excitement. Set up healthy competitions, short-term goals with high stakes, or tasks with immediate rewards.
Negotiate, just for fun: the negotiation process is motivating.
Keep it moving. The faster things go, the better they perform.
Inspired by Nate Regier's blog / https://www.next-element.com/
