I heard it again: “that’s typical of men, isn’t it, because women are from Venus”. That expression that lumps all men together and all women together in another*.
It comes from John Gray's book – 'Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus'. In it, he states that women and men don't understand each other because we communicate differently, excel at different things, and pursue different goals. For example: women talk more, men focus on information, women on feelings, men are action-oriented. And all of this because we come from different planets.
However, there are also talkative men and quiet women, men who are caring, women in technology, men who prefer to be alone, and women at the top. And thankfully so.
Stereotype
A stereotype is a fixed idea about a group of people. Every time you see such a stereotype confirmed, it becomes stronger. If it doesn't fit, we often say, 'exceptions prove the rule!' We prefer to confirm our existing beliefs rather than questioning whether our perception is accurate.
The image we have of the group of men and the group of women is often not accurate, so we create subgroups with tomboyish girls and girlish boys.
Okay, so women aren't from Venus, and men aren't from Mars. What then accounts for the differences between us humans? One important aspect is personality.
Six personality types WITHIN us
Taibi Kahler, an American clinical psychologist, meticulously observed people and discovered patterns in communication, qualities, preferences, and behavior. He identified exactly six clusters and confirmed his findings with scientific research. These six clusters are the different personality types that each of us carries within, though one of them is most visible:
People with a lot of Harmoniser energy are warm and compassionate. They want you to feel good and wish to be appreciated for who they are.
Individuals with a lot of Structured Thinker energy are responsible and think logically. They seek facts and data.
People with a lot of Persister energy are dedicated and sharp. They want to be respected for their vision and convictions.
People with a lot of Promotor energy are direct and charming. They always find a way to get things done.
Individuals with a lot of Rebel energy are spontaneous and creative. They are energetic and enjoy trying new things.
People with a lot of Dreamer energy have a strong imagination and are calm. They like to take their time to reflect and think through concepts.
These personality types greatly influence how someone thinks, feels, behaves, and communicates.
If all women were from Venus and all men from Mars, then some of these types would apply to men and some to women, for example: all women have a lot of Harmonizer energy and all men have a lot of Structured Thinker or Promoter energy.
And that doesn't appear to be the case.
Scientific research relies on data, so the percentages are well-established. While these figures are based on the North American population, there's no reason to believe they would differ significantly elsewhere in the world. All PCM trainers globally (myself included) teach people how to observe the personality type someone is expressing at any given moment. This information allows for flexible communication, a skill we also teach. And to date, no one has ever remarked, 'That's odd, it seems completely different in our country.'
Below, I have presented the distribution in a diagram. For each type, you will also see the distribution between men and women (Apologies, it's in color. Some people find tables of numbers boring, and I already have a lot of text. If you can't see it clearly, please let me know, and I'll send you the numbers).
What's in it for you?
Please don't think that people come from Mars, Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, or Mercury just because there are 6 types. These are types *within* people, not types *of* people; we all have them within us. The order varies. We don't have that many planets.
No, people are different and unique, and that's a good thing. Otherwise, it would be boring. We complement each other. Look at the qualities of each individual, celebrate the differences, engage in conversation, and appreciate diversity. We need each other so much.
P.S. It can be challenging to deal with these differences in others. Or with the differences within yourself.
If you want to learn how to better deal with this in relation to others, your team, each other, or yourself, then be sure to visit Uvanti.nl
*Naturally, some people don't feel comfortable with either women or men, but for readability, I will use this distinction in this article.
