The problem
Under stress, some people become judgmental, stubborn, and self-righteous. They go on a crusade, imposing their beliefs on others and expecting people to agree with them. No one seems able to meet their impossible moral standards and values, and they become suspicious of anyone who disagrees with them. Their tunnel vision prevents them from seeing that no one wants to be around them. Instead of being respected for their integrity, they are feared because they are intimidating.
The underlying story
People who push their beliefs need positive recognition for their dedication to work and their convictions. When they don't receive this recognition positively, they try to get it in a negative way by imposing their beliefs on others. They are natural protectors and worry about fulfilling their responsibilities and duties to ensure everyone (including themselves) does the right thing and is worthy. Unfortunately, when they preach to everyone else, it only pushes people away. What they don't realize is that people are generally not immoral or corrupt, even if their belief systems are not at the forefront. The bottom line is that everyone makes mistakes, nobody is perfect, and there are many acceptable ways to achieve things in life. Denying this is a recipe for misery.
When you recognize your own behavior in this
- Accept that you are worthy, despite imperfections in your life. It can be challenging, and that's okay. Being afraid doesn't make you weak.
- Affirm that living according to your convictions is noble and right for you.
- Focus on meaningful and purposeful work, and only share your opinion when you have permission to do so.
- Support and encourage others instead of expecting them to value the same things you do.
- Speak only for yourself, and when sharing your opinion, acknowledge that your truth and THE truth are not (necessarily) the same.
Communication Tips
- Be proactive by asking for their opinions and advice when you are open to feedback.
- Acknowledge and validate their beliefs, even if you don't agree with them. For example: “I appreciate your strong conviction.”
- Affirm how they put their values into practice, e.g., “I can see you're truly striving to be a valuable example for our company's mission.”
- Offer a listening ear when they share their uncertainties about being worthy of the responsibilities in their lives.
- Invite them to participate in activities where their strong beliefs and opinions can add value.
Inspired by Nate Regier's blog / https://www.next-element.com/
